sadistic tendencies

†•it was something i expected..•†

april 28.. well, *sigh* nothing really happened.. just the same old things.. ^_~v

just a message for somebody who thinks he’s gonna fool me::

don’t think that i’ll fall for that lame trick again.. yes, i admit.. i did fall for that BEFORE.. but that was BEFORE!! so stop nagging me about those kinds of things.. sure, i know you love her!! and i know that you know that I DON’T CARE!! so please.. just stop shoving it into my face.. don’t deny it.. i’m not stupid.. i’m saying this ‘coz i’m tired of hearing your never-ending "happiness" chapters of your life-thingy.. oh and one more thing, if you get hurt, don’t come crying into my arms ‘coz i’ll just laugh at your crying face!! i won’t tend your wounds if you get hurt.. damn you!! just for the record, i’m already OVER you!!

and that’s finished..

oh by the way, my "FEVER".. miss you so much!! mwuahugzotyt.. ^_^

>.<;; byerz!!

†•go to hell..•†

well.. abi and jep’s relationship went into a downfall.. O_o;; can you believe it?? and i thought their relationship was sppolproof.. well, actually, it wasn’t about any third party.. it was about the TIME.. T_T anyways, they’re ok now..^^

ahihihi ^_^

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that
when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen,
which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of
suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced
cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during
that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It
stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s
more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special
sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases
endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and
leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The
sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called
pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10
TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing
encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level
of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can
release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a
natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Note: This refers to legal sex only (hehehe..as if!)

^_~v

†•still, it hurts.. but why??•†

well, at ’bout.. 2pm.. i was reading some doujins and listening to some music.. let’s say.. i just remembered some things.. it wasn’t really about HIM at first.. but my thoughts drifted after thinking ’bout it..

well, actually, it all started when "kuya" wendel asked me a simple question.. but still complicated for me to answer..

"do you like your father or your mother more??"

it was something i wouldn’t expect him to ask me.. well, of course, i loved them both and answered, "no one.. i love both of them equally.."

then.. i thought of something.. it seems like i’m NOT special to them.. well, they attend my sister’s events and stuffs.. they also attend my brother’s events.. but NOT mine.. T_T

then my thoughts drifted to HIM.. how?? well.. i was listening to some music, as i thought ’bout stuffs about my parents loving me blah-blah-blah.. then, i noticed that the song that was playing was "JEEPNEY" by spongecola.. hmm.. thoughts whirled inside my head.. and memories came back.. i couldn’t stop my tears.. and it just kept on going.. they fell.. and i couldn’t STOP them.. i didn’t know the reason why.. i just felt like crying.. but i was smiling at the same time..

my mom called on me at 5pm.. she said that we should get going to my sister’s concert.. yeah, yeah.. it was always about my sister.. since she came back, all her mouth mutters are about my sister.. damn it all.. i was jealous.. i know that.. i KNOW..

we arrived there at 6:15pm.. it was too early.. T_T but she still said that we should get there earlier because of my sister’s stockings.. it pisses me off.. why does she care so much for her?! yet she doesn’t care that much for me?? i was going to explode.. but i still kept my cool.. i didn’t want them [ate bheng's with us] to find out what i was feeling..

the concert began.. the first part was so funny.. ‘coz a cockroach flew across the stage and into the audiences.. but the rest was fine.. well, there were still many funny scenes.. but it was fine.. ^_^

then they sang the song "BROKEN VOW".. and as i heard the lyrics, images began to flood in my head.. i was seeing.. memories.. sad memories.. they were vivid scenes that i wished would never come back to me again.. but it did.. and it hurt.. i was seeing HIM again.. why?! damn it.. i cried.. again.. as the song continued.. i covered my face.. and tried to relax.. why was i feeling like that at that time??

but one thing’s certain.. i didn’t cry ‘coz i love him.. i think.. i cried ‘coz i was so stupid to fall for him..

†•is it me.. or am i dreaming??•†

It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there’s something about us I want to say
Cause there’s something between us anyway
I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there’s something about us I’ve got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you
I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I’ll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life

yes, that’s right.. i felt that way BEFORE.. before i finally realized that i was just wasting my time.. but still, i don’t know why i feel this way.. it feels like as if i wanna be held by him AGAIN.. but.. i KNOW that i don’t love him anymore!! is it just me, or am i feeling a thing called loneliness??

loneliness?? why in the hell would i feel that..?! maybe because i do feel lonely.. from everyone.. from everything.. that’s right.. i remember now.. at that time in my life, when i thought that nobody was there, when nobody cared, when my world began to sink, he held my hand, he helped me up and hugged me ’till i felt safe.. he was there.. and he was the one who made me feel loved.. maybe that’s why i think of him right now.. ‘coz, i feel exactly like the way i felt at that time.. he was the only one who never left my side.. [well, at that time, at least..]

but he was still the reason why i felt like dying.. he was the reason why i cried for so many days of my life.. but.. i can’t blame for it, can’t i..?? why?? well, it’s also my fault.. for falling for him so deeply.. for loving him more than anything in this miserable world.. for giving him everything, when i knew that nothing would be given back.. i was a fool.. to believe in such lies.. lies that may only come true in my dreams.. and dreams that can never be real..

i want to be remembered as the girl
who always smiles even when her heart is broken.
and the one that could always brighten up your day
even if she couldn’t brighten up her own.

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you’ll be eaten."

The first apple went in… but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to
himself that this should be easy. 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8… and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn’t help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."