it was something i thought i could handle..
†•still, it hurts.. but why??•†
well, at ’bout.. 2pm.. i was reading some doujins and listening to some music.. let’s say.. i just remembered some things.. it wasn’t really about HIM at first.. but my thoughts drifted after thinking ’bout it..
well, actually, it all started when "kuya" wendel asked me a simple question.. but still complicated for me to answer..
"do you like your father or your mother more??"
it was something i wouldn’t expect him to ask me.. well, of course, i loved them both and answered, "no one.. i love both of them equally.."
then.. i thought of something.. it seems like i’m NOT special to them.. well, they attend my sister’s events and stuffs.. they also attend my brother’s events.. but NOT mine.. T_T
then my thoughts drifted to HIM.. how?? well.. i was listening to some music, as i thought ’bout stuffs about my parents loving me blah-blah-blah.. then, i noticed that the song that was playing was "JEEPNEY" by spongecola.. hmm.. thoughts whirled inside my head.. and memories came back.. i couldn’t stop my tears.. and it just kept on going.. they fell.. and i couldn’t STOP them.. i didn’t know the reason why.. i just felt like crying.. but i was smiling at the same time..
my mom called on me at 5pm.. she said that we should get going to my sister’s concert.. yeah, yeah.. it was always about my sister.. since she came back, all her mouth mutters are about my sister.. damn it all.. i was jealous.. i know that.. i KNOW..
we arrived there at 6:15pm.. it was too early.. T_T but she still said that we should get there earlier because of my sister’s stockings.. it pisses me off.. why does she care so much for her?! yet she doesn’t care that much for me?? i was going to explode.. but i still kept my cool.. i didn’t want them [ate bheng's with us] to find out what i was feeling..
the concert began.. the first part was so funny.. ‘coz a cockroach flew across the stage and into the audiences.. but the rest was fine.. well, there were still many funny scenes.. but it was fine.. ^_^
then they sang the song "BROKEN VOW".. and as i heard the lyrics, images began to flood in my head.. i was seeing.. memories.. sad memories.. they were vivid scenes that i wished would never come back to me again.. but it did.. and it hurt.. i was seeing HIM again.. why?! damn it.. i cried.. again.. as the song continued.. i covered my face.. and tried to relax.. why was i feeling like that at that time??
but one thing’s certain.. i didn’t cry ‘coz i love him.. i think.. i cried ‘coz i was so stupid to fall for him..
