sadistic tendencies

†•i hate you so much that i wanna cry..•†

i wait for the day that i can once more hold you tight.. until then, I can’t cry this pain away.. until then, memories are all I have… how i long for one more kiss and just to hold you once again.. how I long to hear you say "our love’s eternal, never will I leave from by your side…" i go my way, i journey on, now ’til forever.. with the memory of our last kiss to keep me going.. and though i am alone again, i shed not a tear.. as night skies arrive, the heartache begins for in every dream.. the image of you lingers still.. so I walk alone, sleepless, guided by the moon.. i know i’ll give to eternal sleep.. and when that day comes, i’ll never again let you go.. i’ll pretend that i’m not about to cry.. i’ll pretend that these tears are only rain.. as I lie awake at night, listening to this quiet rain.. as I bow my head in prayer, my wish is that this burning emptiness inside would heal… i close my eyes, i turn around, and go on my way.. with the dream that somewhere out there, love, you wait for me, too.. and though i am alone again, i shed not a tear..

chemistry class?? haha!! our group didn’t do anything.. our classmates bottled up their wines.. we didn’t do it, because ma’am said that our wine didn’t ferment well.. haha!! ^_~v so, we’ll make another wine on monday.. *sigh* oh yeah, we also ate the REFRIGERATED CAKE that we made ^_~v ahihi.. and ma’am discussed some things about WHY WE THINK OF OUR PARENTS AS THE DEVIL.. you know, because of all the rules and things that are NOT allowed.. well, i don’t really think of them as DEVILS, ‘coz i’m pretty much independent and we only have 3 rules in this house.. hihi..^^ and those are ¹DON’T DO DRUGS, ²DON’T HAVE VICES and ³SUDY HARD.. haha!!^^ ma’am annabelle also said that we should make an essay on WHAT OUR FIRST RELATIONSHIP WAS LIKE.. and if we didn’t have past relationship, we should do an essay about WHAT OUR IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS.. hihi..^^ i don’t know what i’ll do.. i think i’ll do the IDEAL-thingy, ‘coz i can’t remember my first relationship.. ^_~v or i’ll do both.. >.<;;

i don’t know why, but this day, i kept on looking at HIS direction.. i don’t know why.. but, i think it’s coz of the things that ma’am annabelle said about he relationship thingies.. haha!! i was thinking about what she said about RESPECT and HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PARTNER LOVES YOU.. haha!! i don’t really know.. and also the thing of being PHYSICAL.. she said that we’re too young.. yeah, i know that we’re too young.. but still, i think that you just can’t resist the urge to be physical, specially if it’s with the person that you love.. *sigh* the hell with all this crap.. haha!!

hmm what else?? we also played volleyball.. yihee..^^ ok, ’nuff

†•if i’ll be given a change to be with you again, baby i will sacrifice..•†

^_^ i finally know my score at the BLANK MAP exam.. i mean, long quiz.. haha!! i got 26 or 28 mistakes, i think.. not bad for studying 2 dyas before the quiz.. hihi..^^ eniweiz, i’m still happy that i didn’t fail it.. ‘coz if i did, i’ll definitely STUDY and get back on track next quarter.. haha!! well, it’s still the 1st quarter.. i still have plenty of time to catch up with the rest.. i know that i’ll not be the TOP 1 or TOP 2, or even TOP 3 of this quarter.. maybe that i’ll not be in the TOP 5.. haha!! but i can deal with that.. ^_~v

oh yeah, we made refrigerated cake on THE time today.. yum.. haha!! raquel at sandra’s refrigerated cake is so delicious.. i wanna take a bite at that tomorrow.. *whistle* haha!! but seriously, it was so good..^^

okay.. enough of this.. byerz!!

†•omigod.. not enough time..•†

finally!! the WORLD MAP test is finally over!! waa.. but i think that i got a LOW SCORE because i didn’t answer all of the items.. haha it’s okay.. at least i know that i didn’t fail.. ^_^ hihi.. *sigh* and the reason why i didn’t answer all of them is because.. because i didn’t have enough time.. but well, i can’t blame the time, right?? >.<;; besides, i think that i still would’ve taken the exam even if i’m excepted.. hihi.. ^_~v

what else?? what else?? uhm.. well, nothing really happened anymore.. oh yeah, we didn’t have MATH ‘coz we borrowed that time to have the BLANK MAP test.. ahihi..^^

okay.. that’s enough shit.. byerz!!

†•i don’t give a damn!!•†

dunno.. i felt like being a snob today.. the hell i care about what others think.. i don’t give a damn on what they think of me.. i was in a bad mood earlier, so anyone who messed with me took a taste of my "TARAYISM".. yeah, even the FORMER person that i loved experienced it.. why should i care about the comments that he said?! he’s a MERE classmate to me now.. and as for the others, they’re also JUST my classmates.. hell.. even if they die right in front of me, i’ll just pass by their dead bodies and show no emotion at all.. after all, they’re nothing but my classmates.. people who are with me at school.. not to mention, ANNOYING people.. they don’t make an impact in my life.. well yeah, maybe one or two did.. but now, they don’t mean a thing to me.. i couldn’t care less..

*sigh*

maybe the reason that i was like that at school was because of all the things that i’m supposed to do.. arghhh!! i can’t believe this.. so many things to do!! and on social studies subject ALONE!! grrr.. i hate that subject AT ALL!!

1. we have to memorize the WORLD MAP ‘coz the test was moved earlier to 07.26 [tuesday]
2. we have to finish the project.. arghh!! it’ll also be submitted on tuesday..
3. we have to make a summary of the SONA..

how can i get all of these done?!?! and i still have to memorize EUROPE and AFRICA.. arghh!! damn it all..!!

anyways, i think this is enough.. i know my SO NEGATIVE post is annoying you.. bye bye now.. oh, and for those who got irritated, you’ll die someday anyways.. yeah, i know, i WILL TOO.. SOONer than you will.. haha!!

†• so many things to do.. so little time.. •†

haha!! haven’t updated for a while.. oh well.. at least, here i am now.. haha!!

hmm.. what happened?? nothing really.. it’s just that.. well, i have so many things to do.. but i don’t think that i don’t have enough time to do all of those things.. omigod..

well, one thing is that i need to have this report tomorrow.. and i also need to be an emcee for the program for the korean students.. T_T but.. i don’t have my voice.. really.. my voice right now, is like a dwarf’s voice.. damn it..

another thing is that, well, i thought that our blank map test was supposed to be on friday, july 29, 2005.. but.. ma’am hilda moved it to july 26.. waa!! and i still haven’t memorized a lot of countries yet.. damn it.. >.<;; *sigh*

i still have to finish the assignment for filipino that’s due this friday.. and a project on social studies that is due on tuesday.. O_o;; i really have no time.. waa!!

anyways, i just wanted to inform you that.. well, i’m really suffering from this TIME problem.. so i think i won’t be able to have a post soon.. >.<;;

kei, still need to finish all of those.. bye!!

so tired.. just wanna sleep.. sleep.. and sleep more

anyways, tomorrow’s THE day.. and i’m certainly *NOT* planning to go to school tomorrow.. the hell.. what would i do?? nothing.. and all i want to do right now is sleep, sleep and sleep more.. you see, lately, i was getting just about 2-3 hours sleep a day.. T_T and sometimes, i don’t sleep at all.. damn it.. i don’t know what’s with this body of mine.. it just wants to stay awake and refuses to sleep and rest.. that’s also the reason why i always look so tired at school.. believe me, it’s not a nice view.. i look like i got a beating or well.. a sex marathon until morning.. damn it.. i also always sleep at school.. i’m always staring at no where.. maybe that’s because i lack sleep.. arghh!!

what else?? hmm.. well, nothing interesting really happened.. ehehe.. ^_~v

so, that’s it, i guess.. byerz guyz..

†•weird.. i thought i really belonged..•†

well, today?? nothing special really happened.. our classes were actually just up to 11:20am today.. it’s cuz of our JUNIORS VARSITY’s game at adamson.. haha!! the truth is, i was actually planning to go there and cheer for them.. but something popped up.. it’s not really because I HATE the VARSITIES.. but.. i dunno.. i just thought that i would have no one there to be with..

so, that’s it.. something’s really bothering me.. you see, i dunno how i’m gonna do all the things that i’m supposed to do this week..

1st.. i have to MEMORIZE the WORLD MAP [torture]
2nd.. i have to finish my report about NOLI ME TANGERE
3rd.. i have to finish my PROJECT in FILIPINO
4th.. i have to finish the outfits that our models are gonna wear this friday at THE day

T_T seriously, i dunno how to do all of those.. damn it all.. *sigh*

anyways, i’ll try to finish the report and the project today.. hihi.. i just hope i can finish that.. or, i can finish the report and try to memorize 3 continents.. O_o;;

you’re asking me what’s with the "WEIRD.. I THOUGHT I REALLY BELONGED"?? well, it’s cuz i’m quitting MKR.. i got pissed off, y’know.. haha!! and well, i just have no time anymore.. but.. i’m still gonna go there every once in a while.. oh well..

anyways, i still gotta read NOLI ME TANGERE.. bye guyz^^

†•yeah.. s’like everything went fine..•†

today’s monmon’s birthday!! yahoo.. haha!! i just went to her well, birthday outing.. actually, it’s my first time to go with them.. you know, with francoise, aiken, therese, gian, monica a, kiri and monmon.. well, i thought that i would be OP.. haha!! but well, it’s not really that bad.. ‘coz francoise would tease me every once in a while.. and well, s’ok.. ^_~v the hell.. i think i would just be bored without him around.. yep, i admit it.. he’s like a clown minus the red nose, the big shoes, the funny outfit and the little hat with a single small flower on top.. haha!! ^_^

what else?? hmm.. oh yeah, i bought a new mic.. wai.. yehey!! at last.. haha!! i’m also planning on buying a new keyboard, a new mouse and a new mic stand.. i just want to try it out, y’know.. haha!!

oh, by the way, i finished my other blog.. at blogspot.. anyways, i just loved the layout so much that i needed to make a blog out of it.. i really like it.. i mean, the "i’m not HELPLESS"-thingy really fits me right now.. hehe.. ^_~v and uhmm.. i fell in love with the image.. my gawd.. that girl was like breakin’ apart but still holding herself together.. wow.. haha!! i can really relate to that girl.. hihi..^^ feel free to visit it, kei..??^^

anyways, this is the URL :: http://indecentbiyatch.blogspot.com

haha!! wonder why it’s like that.. it’s really exaggerated.. the thing with indecent and biyatch.. haha!! well, i dunno.. i just want the URL to be that way, i think.. ^_^ hihi..^^ the title is, THE HELL I CARE ABOUT THIS SHITTY WORLD.. haha!! of course, it is the v7.0 of sadistic tendencies.. ^_^ it also has a background music of "YOU’LL BE SAFE HERE" by rivermaya..^^

no bad news today.. i enjoyed this day very much.. that’s why i’m posting today.. bwahaha!!

oh btw, MONMON or MONICA G., happy happy birthday!! ^_^

’nuff said..

†•is something wrong with me??•†

haha!! just wanna post this poem that i made this afternoon.. haha!! sir told me that we should make a poem that depicts the beautiful circumstances of life.. haha!! ^_~v

anyways, here it is.. ^_^

I was at ROXAS BOULEVARD

I sat at one side of Roxas Boulevard,
While the wind’s cold hands caressed my face;
The slightly wet air that embraced my whole being
Awoke me from my ever thoughtless daze.

The sky was a beautiful color of orange,
As the sun bowed down and went to sleep;
And alas, the so-called busy street,
Went silent just as the sun went asleep.

There were new faces who bumped into each other,
New beginning and lives planning together;
With the help of the beautiful scene they see,
They build a relationship that would last forever.

As time passed by,
The birds’ singing engulfed me;
And before I know it,
The stars were dancing for me.

I was stunned by the beautiful view,
With their endless twinkling plastered on my mind;
It was like two lovers holding hands,
And I felt all tingly inside.

When the moon started to arrive,
I stood up and started my journey;
And I stopped and looked at the many lives,
The moon has witnessed every night.

There were children at play,
Laughing and smiling together;
And there was this foul smell
Of whatever I cannot decipher.

Life has many beautiful things to offer,
Just stop and take a look aound;
With so many things to do and have fun together,
It’s impossible to stay at the same ground.