sadistic tendencies

†•yum~•†

wow.. new year’s finally here.. ahaha!!

nothing to do but to eat, eat and EAT MORE!!

well, tonight, there’s gonna be lots of smoke.. AGAIN.. O_o;; that’s what i hate about new year.. too many fireworks.. too many smoke.. and TOO MUCH noise.. -_- hate it..

but i’m also happy.. =3 but not excited as before.. xD

i’m also sad.. [see, mixed emotions] coz my dad’s not gonna be here.. *sigh* well, he’s also NOT here during Christmas.. T_T *cries*

i miss him..

niweiz, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! xD

†•i don’t need promises•†

it’s still extremely HOT.. T_T my cell phone got lost somewhere ’round the house.. i forgot  where i put it.. and it’s in SILENT MODE.. gah~ but fortunately, my mother found it.. haha!! =3

we, my mother and i, went to the podium to see my sister sing.. xD as always, UPSA people  are always good.. and all of them did a fantastic job.. i just wished i had a voice like theirs..  O_o;;

oh well~ we ate fettuccini carbonara and ice cream at cheesecakes, etc., then ordered a  take-out before going home.. we ordered a strawberry cheesecake.. yum~ *drool* haha!! i’ll  eat that tomorrow.. *drool MUCH*

well, my friend, ube, is feeling down.. i wanted to know what’s wrong, but she didn’t want to tell me,  so i didn’t force her to say her problem to me.. i just said that if ever she needed someone to  talk to, i’m always here.. but.. she said she was fine, and that she talked about it already.. with skye.. *jealous.. jealous* ahehe.. but i can understand her.. they’ve known each other for a  long time now.. and maybe it’s about one of their friends.. besides, i think skye can give her a  better advice than i can.. >.<;; but i won’t deny it.. i was a bit jealous.. *sigh*

gah~ i finished one of the Christmas cards that i needed to make for my parents, and i already gave it to mom.. =D i need her reply.. hope she’s already thinking about it.. xD

everything went fine, i guess.. but i still need to make the LETTERS for THE.. so many projects  for THE!! gah~

the title?? it means.. i don’t need promises / promises aren’t needed.. or something like that..  ahaha!! i dunno why i put it there as a title.. just wanted to, i guess.. ahaha!!

†•ouch!! it hurts!! it burns!!•†

oh gawd!! my feet and legs fucking hurt.. T_T

you see, we went to Robinsons yesterday from Megamall.. we walked.. it wasn’t really a long  walk.. but the heat of the sun plus the unbearable stench made it HELL.. O_o;;

i don’t know why my feet suddenly began to hurt.. kiri’s also hurt.. but we didn’t walk too long..  i think~ oh well, maybe i was just too tired, not to mention SLEEPY.. i had like.. 3 hours of  sleep.. >.<;;

gah~

we, my sister and i, went to SM North today.. haha!! i spent uhmmm.. only ’bout.. 170 pesos.. ‘coz i made her pay for everything that i wanted.. haha!! it’s so fun to be younger.. >=D

oh well~ nothing much happened.. haha!! oh yeah, it was extremely hot today.. bummer.. T_T  cold days are over..

’nuff said.. =3

courtesy of CLAY: "fuck" is not a bad word.. it’s a VERB.. =3

†•i wish!!•†

my cousin, rico, is staying with us right now.. he’s here because of Christmas and New Year.. he kept calling me "baboy" or pig when we argue.. hmm.. i just wished that i could be a pig..

know why??

did you know.. that a pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.. now that’s pleasure.. haha!! i wanna be a fucking pig!! =3

haha!! well, having my cousin here is fun, even though we fight almost all of the time.. xD it’s fun to play with him.. i mean, toy with him.. make fun of him.. wahaha!! right now, we’re fighting, and he’s calling me a freakin’ pig.. haha!! this morning, i couldn’t sleep because of him..

i was still awake at 5:30am, then he woke up and kept nagging me.. T_T ’bout 6am, i wanted to sleep.. but he still wanted to play.. deym!! so i stayed awake until 11am O_o;; this damn brat!! someday, i’m gonna cut off his twig and berries.. bwahaha!!

†•6 hours to go•†

only 6 hours to go before Christmas..^^

well, my mom’s gonna be home tomorrow.. she said that she’ll be here at 3:30 or 4pm.. sooo, she’ll be here for Christmas after all..

Christmas this year is not as happy as the past ones.. i think it’s because everyone’s broke.. ahehe.. but it’s not entirely because of that.. =3

anyways, Merry Christmas everyone!!

†•t’was a long time ago..•†

You who suddenly broke into a run
under the happy blue sky
You who had a heart-to-heart talk to a friend
on a rainy day
You who had to let the cat you raised die
You who knows the end of life
You are me
I am you

You who looked at the sea
and suddenly got aggressive and shouted.
You who believes in an unseen promise
and single-mindedly continues on your journey.
You who grumble you have bad luck
You who worries that something’s wrong
You are me
I am you

I want to protect someone sweet
I want to hinder my weaker self
A way of saying "farewell"
which I’ve never done before…
A song that just falls from my lips
A rough stone that shines like a diamond from within me
You are me
I am you

When you’ve been pondering what’s going to happen from here
and have fallen asleep before you even noticed
When what you thought wouldn’t break
has broken all too soon.
When you want to do something bad on purpose
When the sunset has entered into your heart
You are me
I am you

A lesson I have learned.. A person I’ve always wanted to meet.. The child who doesn’t worry about everything.. The child who kept smiling even if something bad happened, knowing that everything’s going to be alright.. The little girl wearing a pink dress, wishing for everyone’s happiness before blowing out the candles on top of her birthday cake.. The girl who cried when somebody’s hurt.. The girl who laughed and made everyone feel happy.. The girl who once was me..

"Let’s promise each other that we’ll hold on to the intensity we felt that day, and live the future that blooms in tomorrow."

†•i can’t believe this!!•†

wtf?! it’s gonna be Christmas, and I have a fuckin’ fever!! waa.. i can’t believe this!! it’s ruining my Christmas vacation!! oh well~ i wasn’t planning on going somewhere else, but here.. *sigh*

my mom and dad’s NOT gonna be home for Christmas.. can you believe it?! at least one of them can like.. be with us.. right?!

my head hurts!! my body hurts!! everything is hurting!! arghh!! can’t take this anymore!!

ok.. 3 days before Christmas!! i don’t wanna ruin my mood, just ‘coz of my fever and the fact that my parents aren’t gonna be home.. *sigh*

niweiz, enough of this crap.. i need some decent rest!! oh right.. i’m still gonna watch bleach 62.. arghh!! this suckz..

†•let alone the sadness i felt..•†

yes, i did want him to suffer.. i wanted him to be unhappy..

but i think that wanting him to be that way is.. well.. kinda childish.. even if i say that he did things far worse than what i wanted to do to him.. maybe i should just forget everything that happened between us.. our relationship.. our love.. our promises.. even the pain that i felt because of him..

it was this pains that gave me the idea that revenge is sweet.. for some people, it is.. once, it was for me, too.. but.. maybe it’s better to just let it all go.. i shouldn’t be affected or something about "this" thing.. i am far more mature than stoop down to the level of those who once tried to destroy OUR relationship, and fortunately, they won and succeeded.. and that brought me pain.. not to mention, a lot of it!!

let alone the sadness that i felt.. let alone the pain and heartaches.. now, i am a happy person.. with nothing to worry about.. and i don’t want this thing to spoil my Christmas vacation.. besides, i don’t want people to think that i still love him ‘coz of this.. that would be.. uhh.. y’know.. BAD.. ahehehe..

people keep pushing me.. and keep telling me that i still love him.. cut the crap!! i don’t love him anymore.. and that’s what i’m going to prove..

let’s say that he’ll be happy.. then, i wish for both their happiness..

"Win dain a lotica En vai tu ri Si lo ta."

~To a heart that is numbed with cold the dragon takes.~

†•i LaughEd aNd cRied aT ThE saMe TimE•†

it’s been a while.. well, there wasn’t something to write about, so i didn’t write any more nonsense in my blog..

ahehehe..

today is the last day of our classes this year.. xD we had a Christmas party, with the usual "kainan" and exchange gifts..^^ love the tradition.. ahehe..

the only difference this year is that we didn’t have The DANCE NIGHT, the most awaited program of the year.. OMG.. it just feels uhhh.. weird.. or feels like something is missing.. the excitement.. the cheers.. the dance steps.. everything was missing.. *sigh* too bad.. it’s ‘coz the Directress didn’t want to have the dance night.. argh!!

instead of having the dance night, the PTA prepared a musical called "ALEX IN WONDERLAND".. we, patricio and i, watched it, and had fun singing the songs.. well, they were familiar.. go the distance (Hercules), at the beginning (Anastasia), the prayer (Charlotte Church), some songs from Hunch Back of Notre Dame, belle (Beauty and the Beast), and some other really familiar songs..^^ oh, i also heard background music from Ragnarok at Cole Mines.. haha!!

after the play, the song, "KUNG WALA KA" by Hale was played.. awww.. and perfect timing!! when i was singing the song and glanced at my right, i saw something.. uhh.. something.. that like.. irritated me.. @_@ and suddenly, i started crying.. over something that i should have already been able to handle..

*sigh*

there came more awkward moments.. and i was trying my best to SMILE, and LAUGH for them not to notice my uneasiness with the two people in sight.. it was at one point when i almost lost my control over my body.. i was about to walk out.. i was about to give up.. i was about to lose myself.. it would’ve turned out bad if it weren’t for the promises that i remembered..

we ate at KFC, iceberg, king korn, and sang at karaoke..^^ it was when i got home that i realized something..

"woohoo!! it’s already Christmas vacation!!"

well, over-all, it was a fun day..^^